Sent: Saturday, June 02, 2001 7:42 PM

Subject: [MTA_Stories] New: Axis Mundi 1
AUTHOR: Raindancer

DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and all related characters belong to Chris
Carter, Fox Television, and 1013 Productions. No infringement intended
and no money made.

SUMMARY: Scully believing Mulder to be dead takes off to find herself.
Will Mulder be found in time to save her? Not a season 8 story.

CATEGORY: S A MSR Scully/other Scully/Mulder


THANK YOU’S: Go to Vickie Moseley for her input and untiring dedication.
Thanks Vickie.

SPOILERS: A few here and there but nothing major. Season 8 never

ARCHIVE: Anywhere just keep my name and disclaimer attached.

FEEDBACK: Please let me know what you thought.

WARNING: Vickie tells me I need to put a “Only For Strong Constitutions”
warning on this. So here it is. There is one little dream scene that has
a small gross out factor but that’s it, I promise!


Day 1

She stared down at the photograph, the image blurring from the tears in
her eyes. They had been discussing something with their heads close
together when someone had snapped the picture.

He was standing beside her tall and lean. His head bowed down to better
see her face. Hers was turned slightly upwards to meet his gaze. That’s
the way it had always been between them. Meeting in the middle.

Now this photo was all she had to remind her of his gentle smile and
gaudy humor. She put the photo down on the side table and turned her
attention to the flowers sitting on the table.

Her mother was always leaving flowers around her apartment.

“They do so much to brighten a place up, Dana.”

Right now she didn’t feel like being brightened up. She ached to take
hold of the vase and smash it against the wall but she had held her
emotions in check too long and she couldn’t quite bring herself to pick
up the vase.

Somehow this was too much. She had sacrificed too much of her humanity
already. Perhaps if she could perform this one act then maybe she could
start feeling again.

Before she could change her mind she grabbed up the vase and hurled it
across the room into the wall. It smashed with a satisfying tinkling of
glass but the action felt stiff and forced.

Turning she picked up the small clock on her end table and hurled it
toward the door. Then again and again and again.
She was faintly aware of the sound of someone screaming. It was with
slight alarm that she realized it was herself.

Finally exhausted, her breath heaving, she sat down in the middle of the
floor and allowed the tears that had been threatening to make their way
down her cheeks.

She looked around her and let loose with a laugh that ended in a half
moan half hiccup. Scully stood up and made her way across the room
careful not to step on any of the glass shards littering her living room
floor.  She made her way over to the kitchen and grabbed the broom and
dustpan but stopped on the threshold of the living room.

Why? Why should she clean up this mess? It didn’t matter anymore. Her
job was over. She had turned in her resignation earlier in the day.  The
work just didn’t matter to her anymore.

She dropped the broom and dustpan and turned back to the kitchen to grab
the bottle of vodka she had bought and then stashed in the freezer
earlier in the day. On her way back to the living room she noticed the
message light blinking on her message machine.

She veered toward her desk and punched the button then she poured the
vodka into her coffee cup while she listened. The first was a hang up
with the next one being an offer to change her long distance.

The third made her stop with the glass halfway up to her lips and look
at the machine with something close to guilt settling in her stomach.

“Dana, honey, this is mom. Dana if you’re there pick up. Sweetie I’m
very worried about you. Mr. Skinner called and said that you had turned
your resignation in today.”

There was a long pause.

“Dana, please call me.”

Another pause.

“I love you sweetie.”

There was a click and Scully finished bringing the cup up to her lips.
She took a long swallow and felt the slow burn down into her stomach.

In the bedroom she paused a moment and caressed the sheets on her bed.
Then she flung herself into them to try to catch a whiff of his scent.
The only thing she got was the faint lingering scent of her laundry
detergent and the perfume she had worn to the funeral the day before.
No, two days before.

Sitting up she cursed her mother for coming in and cleaning up her
apartment. Scully remembered two days ago when her mother had come in.
She saw in her mind’s eye her mother removing her sheets and putting
fresh on. She had been too much in shock to think about what her mother
was doing.

With a desperation that was just this side of being frenzied she dug
through her laundry trying to find some remaining piece of Mulder.
However, she came up empty again. With a faint moan she searched through
her closet and the laundry.  All signs of him had been removed. No doubt
her mother thought that it might be too painful for her if she were to
come up on some stray piece of him.

Even with that understanding a fury grew in the pit of her stomach and
spread to her heart. Why did they insist on interfering in her life?
Skinner always questioning her, her mother always barging in and taking

She didn’t feel she had room to breathe. There were too many people in
her life. The only person she wanted to see was Mulder. But then that
was impossible. He had been forever removed from her life.

She sat down on the bed and fought the sobs trying to break free once
more from her tired throat. Scully picked up the vodka bottle and took a
deep swallow. Then lying back on the bed she fell into a deep but
restless sleep.


His hands roamed her body and his smile flashed in her eyes. His breath
was hot on her neck and then there was the sharp pain/pleasure as he
pushed inside her.

All of the sudden the images changed and she found herself staring at a
nightmare image of her apartment. Blood was coating the walls along with
heavier, wetter things that were sliding down the plaster with thick
slurping sounds.

Mulder lay before her on the carpet eviscerated, gasping for breath. His
eyes were wide showing white and his mouth worked trying to bring air
into his lungs. Scully had a clear view of his heart and she watched in
horror as it first slowed and then stilled.

The light left his eyes and a dull cloudy film began to cover the soft
hazel turning them gray and colorless. His body began to shrink in on
itself and bodily fluids began to seep out and stain her rug. Maggots
began to roil out of his stomach and feast upon his cold flesh.

Scully watched as time seemed to still. His form continued to shrink and
seemingly decompose in moments before her very eyes. Then from nowhere
and everywhere a scream wretched at her heart and stripped at her flesh.


The sob tore her throat as she sat up in bed. “Muuuullllldddeerrrr!”

She sat with her chest heaving and her stomach not far behind. Scully
closed her eyes and concentrated on bringing air into her lungs.
Gripping the sheets she opened her eyes and looked around her room.

She could see the walls of her dream on top of her own almost as if they
had been transported from her dream and superimposed on reality. Scully
fought the gorge trying to rise in her throat but ended up hurtling
herself to the bathroom in a vain attempt to make it in time.

With her only intake in the last twenty-four hours having been vodka she
ended up doing a lot of retching and throwing up a lot of bile.

Once her stomach was calmed she lay her head on the toilet seat and
before she knew it she had faded into a calmer slumber.


Day 2

At first the main thing she had been aware of was the foul stench in her
nose. The next was the feel of cold porcelain under her cheek and the
pounding of her head.

“Oh God.”

She reached up and flushed the toilet and then staggered to the sink
where she brushed her teeth and the gargled. Next she opened her
medicine cabinet and pulled out a couple of aspirin and downed it with a
handful of water.

After a hot shower she lay back in her bed and stared at the ceiling.
She couldn’t do this. There were too many reminders here in D.C., in
this apartment.

She looked at the carpet where Mulder had lain in her nightmare. No
stain marred the perfection of the beige colored rug. However, in her
mind’s eye, she could still see the slowing of his heart.

In a cold sweat she jumped up from bed and began getting dressed. Scully
threw on a pair of worn jeans and a Georgetown sweatshirt. She brushed
her hair and stuffed her sock clad feet into the off brand tennis shoes.

Grabbing a bag she stuffed some clothes and toiletries in along with her
own personal weapon and some money she had stashed in a tin in the top
of her closet. She grabbed her keys and was out the door and locking it
when she heard the phone ring.

She leaned her head against the door and listened as the machine picked
up. Straightening she turned the key in the lock and took off down the

Inside her apartment the caller on the phone rasped out one word.


Margaret Scully liked to think that she was the type of mother who
didn’t interfere with her children’s lives too much. She argued with
herself that this was different. That she wouldn’t be a good mother if
she didn’t try to bring Dana out of her shell.

Margaret turned off the engine and stared at the front of her daughter’s
apartment building. She was lucky to find a place so close but she
suspected that it being a workday had something to do with that.

She had been very concerned when Mr. Skinner had called her and told her
that her daughter had turned in her resignation. The gentlemen seemed
uncomfortable divulging the information to her. Perhaps he had felt that
he had been breaching confidentiality. Whatever it was she had hastened
to assure him that he had done the right thing.

Dana had not been the same since the search for her partner had been
called off. They had combed the surrounding area but had found little
left of her partner. Why on earth he had been alone in the mountains of
Tennessee was still a mystery to her. However, she suspected it had
something to do with the search for his sister.

They had found his stuff scattered about. His vest torn to shreds and
soaked in blood to the point that it squished and blood ran off into the
dry, dusty ground when you picked it up. Testing had proved that it was
indeed the blood of Fox William Mulder.

The search might have ended there if Dana hadn’t pushed them. So they
searched the surrounding area one more time while expanding the search
area. Margaret remembered with horror what the next find had consisted

It was nothing more than a few fingers but the image would be engraved
into her memory for as long as she lived. The three fingers, including
the pinky, lay forgotten in the dirt. A strip of skin and some meat had
connected them. Once again, testing confirmed what they all feared. The
search was called off and Fox William Mulder was presumed dead as the
result of a bear attack.

They had buried his fingers in the cemetery and put up a grave marker
for the last remains.

Dana had at first insisted that he was alive. She had been a wild woman
almost. Margaret had feared that they would have to sedate her. But all
of a sudden the fight seemed to leave her daughter. She had been
relieved. It wasn’t until later that she realized that it was the life
that had left her.

Shaking herself out of her reverie Margaret Scully entered the building
and made her way up to her daughter’s apartment.

At first when she received no answer her heart started knocking against
her ribs. Images of pills and razors and blood poured into her mind. She
tried to think. Dana would have had to turn her service weapon in when
she resigned. But didn’t Dana own a gun of her own? Maggie was pretty
sure she did.

With her heart in her throat Margaret Scully pulled out her key and
entered in to her daughter’s apartment.

The sight that met her eyes was not what she was expecting. Glass lay
broken all over the living room floor. Chaos reigned. It looked like a
tornado had done the watusi in her daughter’s sitting room.


She picked her way over the glass strewn floor. There by the entrance to
the kitchen lay the broom and dustpan.

“Dana, honey, are you home?” She was glad that her voice came out
strong. What in God’s name had happened here?

In the bedroom clothes were thrown all over and the laundry had been
ransacked. By the bed a bottle of vodka lay overturned and a puddle had
spread out from the lip. In the bathroom Margaret wrinkled her nose at
the stale smell of vomit and noticed a small puddle of it on the floor
by the john.

There was also a puddle of water and towels strewn across the floor.
Fearing the worst she made her way back to the living room and started
to pick up the phone to dial Walter Skinner when she noticed the message
light blinking on the phone machine.

Feeling a little guilty but a lot more scared she pushed the play
button. The message on the machine played and Margaret Scully started to
dial the phone.


Walter Skinner was in a funk. He would never have thought it but he
hated to see the X Files department closed down. Losing Mulder had been
horrible. The look on Dana Scully’s face had been worse.

He hadn’t been surprised when she had turned in her resignation. He had
tried to convince her that she could do Mulder’s memory justice by
staying on but she would have none of it. The look on her face as she
had walked out of his office had scared him. In fact, it had scared him
badly enough that he had called Margaret Scully.

It was an awkward conversation and he had felt that he was going behind
his agent’s back. However, Mrs. Scully had seemed so relieved that he
had told her that he had been assured that he was doing the right thing.

Now sitting at his desk he wished he could feel that sure now. He had
called Scully the day before. It hadn’t been reassuring. Her voice had
been as dead as her eyes were when she walked out of his office. Still
she had assured him that everything was “fine”. Which in Scully language
meant that everything was going to hell.

He picked up and stared at the resignation. It felt to him that it
weighed a hundred pounds. He felt almost as if it were a death warrant.

He was so caught up in this that he jumped when the intercom buzzer went
off at his elbow. Rubbing at his knee he answered tersely “Yes?”

“Sorry to disturb you, Sir, but there is a Margaret Scully on the phone.
She says it’s urgent?”

The lump in his chest grew till he felt his heart would explode with the
pressure. What had he done?

“Put her on.” There was a click. “Mrs. Scully, what can I do for you
today?” What he really wanted to do was to scream, to pray that surely
to God she was okay.

“Mr. Skinner I’m sorry to bother you like this but I’m at Dana’s
apartment.” A slight pause. “I think you need to come over here.”

The world was going black. “Is something wrong?”

“Dana’s not here, the place. . . it looks like it’s been ransacked.”

“I’ll be right over Mrs. Scully. Just stay there and don’t touch
anything you don’t have too.”

“Mr. Skinner, wait, there’s something else. There was a message on her
machine. I’ve saved it for you. Mr. Skinner, it sounded. . . it was


She didn’t know where she was going and she didn’t care. She just knew
she had to get away from the pain and the memories.

She hadn’t taken the time to eat and her stomach warned that it was
still not happy with her over the events earlier in the morning. She
reached over and grabbed the sweet bun she had grabbed when she stopped
to get gas.

Pushing the guilt of eating the sugar laden snack she bit into it and
grimaced. She didn’t really want food but if she didn’t eat she sensed
her stomach would rebel on her again.

She was headed south. That’s all she knew. She didn’t have a map and she
didn’t want one. She didn’t know how it was going to end and at this
moment she didn’t care. The nightmare flashed in her mind and she turned
up the radio to drown out the images in her mind.


The apartment had been thoroughly dusted and inspected. There wasn’t a
place left untouched by the lab techs although by the looks of things
Scully had made the mess herself.

Her toothbrush and other toiletries were missing. Her purse, her keys.
The thing that preyed most heavily on his mind was the phone message.


It had indeed been Mulder. Skinner’s throat had constricted when he had
heard that voice. He didn’t think he would ever be hearing it again.
Since the message was flashing they knew that Scully hadn’t heard it.
That meant she didn’t know. Which meant she still might be in danger.

They were having the tape analyzed to try to pinpoint Mulder’s location.
It was obvious that he was in pain. The halting voice spoke of
confusion, pain, and despair.

The hunt was on again. This time for both agents.


Margaret Scully had been told to go back home and await word from her
daughter. She paced the kitchen back and forth and then decided to try
Dana’s cell phone one more time.

She let it ring until the recording came on telling her that the
customer she was dialing was not answering. “Really? I never would have
known unless you told me.”

She hated feeling useless. Dana, crazy with grief, was out there
somewhere and Fox was out there somewhere else. Probably in terrible

Right now she could’ve used Bill’s cool head. He had always been the
person to have around in a crisis. When everything seemed lost he was
always able to put things into perspective.

Dana had always been so much like him. She certainly hadn’t gotten her
cool thinking from her mother. Mrs. Scully laughed as she remembered a
five year old Dana telling her to calm down and think about where she
had last seen her keys.

Her youngest daughter had always reminded her of William. Now, out there
somewhere, was her daughter. Her cool, level headed daughter. It just
wasn’t like her to do this. And that, she realized, was bothering her
more than not knowing what had happened. The fact that the Dana she had
always known would not have had an episode like this was what was
driving her crazy.

Surely she would find Dana on her front stoop soon. Surely she would
show up looking for comfort and a safe place to stay. With her mind made
up she went into the kitchen to fix something to eat for when Dana came


She was just inside of Tennessee when she decided to stop for the night.
The motel was small and reminded her of the places that Mulder would
pick out for them to stay in when they were on a case.

The lump in her throat was back and she forced it down. She was lying on
the bed staring at the water stains on the ceiling when her cellular
phone rang. She almost answered it expecting Mulder to be on the other
end. Instead she turned it off.

She picked up the bottle of brandy she had picked up earlier and poured
herself a drink. She knew drinking was not the way to solve things but
at this moment she didn’t really care. Let her become a drunk. At least
then maybe she wouldn’t feel the dull ache in her chest anymore.

As she let the alcohol chase away the chill that had lay claim to her
soul she thought about her next move. She thought she would continue to
travel south for a while then maybe turn and head west.

She thought momentarily of calling her mother and then pushed it out of
her mind. Then she thought of starting a journal again but then decided
she didn’t really want to remember this.

She took her gun out and then placed it on the bed in front of her. She
had never seriously dwelt on suicide for any length of time before. She
had contemplated it a few times when the cancer was at its worst. But
that had been a fleeting wish. This was an all consuming obsession.

She could feel the weight of the gun in her hand. The way the grip fit
her hand and the poundage of the trigger. She could taste the gun barrel
and feel the vibration as she bit down.

Taking another drink of the brandy she picked up the gun and felt the
cool reassurance of its metal seep into her blood. She caressed her
cheek with the barrel and had a flash of Mulder.

She saw him again rubbing the gun with his cheek. There in the summer
house. She wondered if he had felt the cold seduction. The knowledge
that with one act he would never feel pain again.

She pressed her lips to the opening of the barrel. Then opening her
mouth she slid it in and pressed her tongue to the cold steel. She could
taste the faint scent of gun oil and smell the leather of the holster
she carried it in.

She squinted her eyes and fingered the trigger. Then fast before she
could change her mind she withdrew the weapon from her mouth and stuffed
it back in her duffel.

“Not tonight.”


Skinner lie wide awake staring at the ceiling above his bed. He was too
worried about his agents to rest. In all of his years as the supervisor
of the X Files had he worried as much. Always before they had each
other. Now they were separated and because of that possibly in more
danger than they ever had been.

Well, with the possible exception of Scully’s cancer. That had been a
rough time for everyone. He thought it was possible that he had lost
more sleep over these two agents than he had in all his time at the
bureau. Maybe it was even possible that he had some hair left before he
took over supervision of the division. Well maybe he was stretching it a
bit far.

The phone rang and he sat up before grabbing the phone. “Skinner.”

“Sir, we have him.”


Day 3

Margaret Scully sat on the edge of the vinyl covered sofa in the waiting
room of the surgical floor. The cup of coffee sat on the end table
cooling in the chill of the air that all hospitals seemed to insist

When she got word he had already been air lifted in. She caught a
glimpse of him and the small amount of dinner that she’d managed to
choke down was fighting its way back up.  My God how was he still alive!
She thanked God that he was unconscious. At least he was feeling no
pain. The damage to his chest and head had been extensive. How he had
managed to survive for five days in the wilderness was a mystery. It was
a miracle.

They found him in a scummy hotel room passed out and bleeding on the
bed. When the desk clerk had been asked about how he could have allowed
a man in that condition to check in he responded that, “He didn’t ask no

How he’d made it all the way from where they figured he’d been attacked
to that slum of a hotel without _someone_ seeing him and calling the
police or an ambulance, she simply didn’t know.

Right now he was in surgery to repair his chest and the damage to his
head. The doctors had spoken to her since she was Fox’s next of kin in
Dana’s absence and he’d tried to make it simple and clear but she wished
for Dana to be at her side.

She would know what questions to ask and what to object to or sign off
on. As it was, Maggie Scully was feeling very out of her element. None
of her kids had had worse than a broken arm or the chicken pox. This was
out of her league.

She looked up to see Walter Skinner come around the corner and down the
hall in her direction.

“Any news yet?”

She shook her head. “No they haven’t been out to update me any. He
looked so horrible. He needs Dana here. He’ll want to know where she is
when he wakes up. I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything about where she
might be have you?”

Skinner sat back. “As a matter of fact I have. She used her credit card
at a motel in Tennessee last night. I thought that maybe she had been on
her way to look for Mulder some more but she was heading in the opposite
direction so I don’t think that’s the case.”

“Have you been in contact with her?”

Skinner sighed. “ I sent someone from the Memphis field office over to
get her but she had already left. Unless we take more extreme measures
we won’t know where she’s at until she uses her credit card again.”

Maggie blinked. “More extreme measures?”

“I could put out an APB on her. Have them set up road blocks but I
really don’t want to take action that extreme unless we have to. The
best we can do right now is keep trying her cell phone and hope we get
in touch with her.”

Skinner studied the look on Maggie’s face. She looked troubled. Well,
why not? But he sensed the gnawing concern growing in the woman. “Mrs.
Scully, you don’t think Scully is a danger to herself do you?”

Maggie Scully turned large eyes to the man beside her. “I don’t want to
think so, Walter.”

Skinner sucked in his breath and faced the wall “What do you want me to


She had crossed into South Carolina and was heading toward Georgia when
she spotted the black and white behind her. Gritting her teeth she
checked her speedometer and dropped back a couple of miles.

Still the black and white stayed on her tail. The lights weren’t
flashing but he certainly wasn’t going around her. Disconcerted at
facing up to local law enforcement without her badge Scully found and
exit ramp and pulled off to convenience store on the side of the road.

She took the opportunity to fill up with gas. In the store she grabbed a
bottled water. When she came back out of the store the cop was still
sitting in his cruiser at the pump a few places away.

Coincidence that’s all it was. He needed gas too. She got in the car and
stared at her image in the rear view mirror. Her eyes looked hollow and
her skin pale. She downed a couple more aspirin with a swig of water and
started out again. She thought a few moments about stopping for a few
days at the beach but decided she didn’t really feel like fun in the sun
right now.

She got back on the highway and brought her speed back up. She had gone
a couple of miles when she noticed the cruiser behind her once again.
What in the hell?

Once again she slowed down but the cop remained behind her. With a growl
of frustration she tried to decide what to do. She could try to outrun
him but he still wasn’t flashing his lights at her and she really didn’t
want him to. So she checked her gun and pulled over to the side of the
road. The cop slowed and for a moment it looked like he was going to
pull over then he sped up and passed her by, continuing on down the

Scully let out a breath that she hadn’t been aware that she was holding.
She wasn’t sure what she’d been afraid of but right then she wanted
Mulder’s hand at the small of her back. She wanted his easy reassurances
and the strength of his arms.

Letting out a strangled sob she laid her forehead on the steering wheel
and allowed her heart to crack just a little more. She couldn’t live
like this. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen.

She beat on the steering wheel venting the frustration she felt. It
wasn’t fair! They had only allowed themselves to come together in the
last couple of months. For the first time she had let her guard down
completely and let him come inside.

They had been making plans for the future. With the consortium gone they
felt the freedom to pursue new avenues. They had been planning so much.
There was no word to describe all that had been taken from her.

Why had he gone out there alone? He could have at least taken one of the
boys with him. Instead he had gone off and gotten himself killed by, of
all things, a bear. A fucking bear! Not aliens or liver eating mutants,
not even a New Jersey wild woman but a damn bear.

She laughed then, at the absurdity of it all. They had one of the most
dangerous jobs in the world. They had both been shot, infected with
alien viruses, and survived government experiments only to be taken down
by one of mother nature’s own little darlings.

She couldn’t live like this.

End 1/2 continued in 2/2.

Axis Mundi 1 2/2

DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and all related characters belong to Chris
Carter, Fox Television, and 1013 Productions. No infringement intended
and no money made.


It had been touch and go in surgery for a while. Now she was sitting
with him in ICU. She looked up from the magazine she’d been staring at
for the past few minutes to the nurse’s desk outside of Fox’s room. She
was torn. She knew she had to be there for Fox but she was afraid that
Dana would try to call her at home.

She turned her attention to the man lying in the bed. There were deep
bruises underneath his eyes. His lashes lay sooty against his pale
cheeks. His face was drawn and his lips cracked and peeling. Above his
brow line his head was swathed in bandages. Bruises were seeping out to
color the ridge of his brow.

There were a multitude of cuts peppering his neck and jaw line. One ear
had almost been taken off and the surgeon had to reattach it. They had
assured her that they would try to keep scarring to a minimal.

There was a tube down his throat making sure that he kept getting air
into his lungs. A nasogastric tube was inserted into his nose.

His chest was swathed in bandages. She couldn’t see the damage done but
she winced at the thought of the pain the steady rise and fall of his
chest would cause. There was a chest tube draining off excess fluid that
was sticking out of the bandages like some obscene parasite.

His arms and hands were covered in stitches. His missing fingers on his
left hand gave that hand a malformed appearance, leaving him looking
half finished.

On his right hand there were the IV’s and pulse oxometer. He was missing
a couple of fingernails and she knew that under the bandages his hands
would be open and raw. His right leg was in traction and the requisite
catheter was in place.

Maggie Scully felt the warmth prickle in her eyes. She couldn’t tell
whether she was crying more in sympathy or relief. Laying here was a man
she never thought to see again on this side of heaven. Now here he was,
real as life, if somewhat worse for the wear. She just wished Dana were
here to witness this miracle with her.

Her thoughts turned toward her daughter. She had always been strong
willed and very private. It was her nature to try to bear her pain by
herself. Maggie sighed. Out of all her children Dana worried her the

Missy had always been the wild child but she knew enough to take care of
herself. She knew when to ask for help. Bill jr. was just as stubborn as
Dana but he had always been somewhat sedate. Her baby, Charlie, had
always been practical. Never the one for wildness or outlandish ideas he
had always known he would follow in his father’s footsteps.

But Dana had always been different. God forbid you tell her she couldn’t
do something. She stopped counting her daughter’s broken bones that were
garnered by trying to climb the highest or jump the farthest.

She wasn’t saying that her Dana was foolish but sometimes her bravery
outweighed her common sense. It was for this reason that she had been
scared to death when Dana had announced she was joining the FBI.
However, it was this very same reason that she knew it would do no good
to object to the idea. It would just add fuel to the fire.

Thank goodness she had calmed some with age. Fox had a good affect on
her as well. Now, her daughter was adrift in a sea of emotions that
Maggie understood only to well.

She was brought out of her reverie by the long beep that sounded from
the other side of the bed. With one hand clutching at her chest she
brought her eyes to the heart monitor but didn’t know enough about it to
tell what was happening. She was about to press the nurse call button
when a nurse came bustling around the corner.

The nurse stopped at the entrance when she saw the pale face of the
older woman sitting by the bed. “It’s alright. It’s just his IV machine
letting us know that he needs a refill.”

Maggie let go of a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. She tried to
calm her racing heart. “Thank you. I was afraid that something had gone

The nurse smiled in sympathy as she changed out the bags of antibiotics.
“My name’s Nancy. Are you his mother?”

Margaret Scully gave a sad smile. “Not really but he sure feels like a
son. His mother passed away a few months ago.”

Nancy, finished changing the IV, focused on the man in the bed. She
began checking the bandages on the patient’s head and then chest. “You
look tired. Why don’t you go home and I’ll call you if there’s any

The offer was tempting especially with the fact that Dana might try to
call but she found herself shaking her head. “I need to be here. My
daughter usually stays with him but she’s not able to right now so I’m
taking up the slack.”

Nancy put her hands on her hips. “Okay but I don’t want two patients in
here. Why don’t you run down to the cafeteria for a few moments and grab
something to eat. I’m sure he’ll be fine for that long.”

Maggie pursed her lips. “I’ll go in a little bit. Thank you.”

Nancy nodded and then left the room.

Left alone once again Maggie gently patted Fox’s hand. “I bet you miss
Dana, don’t you, Fox? I do too.”

She leaned back into her chair to concentrate once more on the magazine
in her lap when a noise at the door caught her attention. “Mr. Skinner,
come in.”

“How is he?”

“Still the same. He hasn’t woken up yet and the doctor hasn’t been in
yet to talk to me.”

Skinner sat down in the chair and took off his glasses to rub at his
eyes. “She was spotted in South Carolina.”

Maggie sat up straighter. “South Carolina? What’s she doing there?”

“Still heading south apparently. From what I hear some young hot shot
cop almost spooked her into bolting. I’ve made it clear they’re not to
pick her up.”

Maggie stared at the bed and the young man in it. “Maybe they should.”

Skinner looked at the bed and then back at Mrs. Scully. “Ma’am, don’t
give up hope yet. She’s just trying to work her way through some things.
You know that. And Mulder’s like a cat, he always lands on his feet.”

Margaret Scully smiled and took the Assistant Directors hand. “Please,
call me Maggie.”


The cigarette tip pulsed brighter as she put it to her lips and took a
draw. The clove flavored smoke made it’s way down into her lungs and she
rotated her neck while blowing it back out her nose.

It was her first cigarette since the case in Comity. She hadn’t had one
then since college. It was like riding a bike, you never forgot how. An
image flashed in her mind of Mulder lying in a hospital bed coughing up

She put the cigarette out with a vicious twist and then promptly lit
another. She coughed slightly and turned to better see the sun. It was
her second day on the road and her muscles protested some at the

She was stopped at a little town in South Carolina called Georgetown.
The irony of it appealed to her. It wasn’t quite time to be stopping but
for some reason she was content to just sit on the little bench in the
small park she found.

A couple yards away was a swing set where a little boy was pumping his
legs trying to swing higher. A few feet away a young mother sat with a
tow headed little girl in the sandbox.

Scully turned away. She didn’t want to be reminded of what she’d never
have. Stretching her legs she got up and walked to the car. She needed
to find something to eat before she moved on.

On her way to a small diner she saw in town she saw a large billowing
cloud of black smoke. Her curiosity aroused she drove toward the source
of the hanging blackness.

When she was closer she could hear the wail of sirens and the shouts of
people. When the smoke got so bad that she couldn’t see to drive she
pulled over to the side of the road and walked.

Through the smoke she got a glimpse of a raging fire in a building up
ahead. Closer still she could see that the building was a hospital.
Breaking into a run she made her way into the chaos.

“Wait a minute. Hey, you, you can’t go in there!”

Scully turned to see a man with soot streaking his face and an open fire
coat billowing around him. “I’m a doctor is there anything I can do to

The man pointed her to a place away from the fire where there was
another hub of commotion going on.

Scully took off in the direction until she came upon people lying on the
ground and others bustling around them. The first person she came to was
a little boy lying on a nest of blankets. His face was streaked with
soot broken only by the drying tear tracks that traced down his cheeks
and into his hairline.

Scully noted the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and then turned her
attention to where the little boy held his arm protectively against his

“Hey there. My name’s Dana. What’s yours?” She bent down to hear the
little boys reply. “Daniel, that’s a good name. Daniel is your mother

The little boy looked ready to break into fresh tears. “It’s okay
Daniel. Tell me does your arm hurt?”

The little boy nodded his head and as Scully reached for it his eyes got
wide and he clutched at his arm tighter. She backed off.

“I know it hurts but I need to look at it okay? I’ll be as gentle as

Daniel debated it for a few minutes and then decided that the woman
seemed nice enough and maybe she could make it stop hurting. Finally, he
nodded his head and let go of his arm.

“That’s good, Daniel. Now I want you to tell me if something I do makes
it hurt worse okay?”

Daniel’s eyes got wider but he swallowed and nodded his head.

Scully manipulated his hand and arm with as much care as she possibly
could. When she finished she checked his pulse in that arm and then laid
it back down on his stomach.

“I want you to hold your arm real still for me okay. Don’t move it. I’m
going to go find somebody to help you.” She started to get up but then
knelt back down. “Daniel what’s your mom’s name?”

“Rebecca Stevenson.”

Scully smiled and then got up and started making her way  through the
people milling around and those strewn across the ground until she came
across a man barking orders to other people. “Excuse me are you the
doctor here?”

The man turned toward her and she stopped short for a moment at his
appearance. There was a rough looking scar trailing across the bridge of
his nose and down to the left side of his chin.

“I’m Dr. Harrison.”

“There’s a young boy over lying over there with a broken arm and
diminished pulse. He’s very scared. I don’t suppose you would know where
his mother is, a Rebecca Stevenson?”

The doctor frowned which seemed twisted because of the scar. “Yes, she
was one of my patients. She’s probably been taken to the hospital across

Just then there were a few explosions from the fire where the flames had
reached some oxygen tanks. Scully hit the ground pulling the doctor with
her in case they were close enough to catch any flying debris. Just then
a couple burning boards catapulted over them to land a few feet away.

“I’m sorry.” She got up dusting her pants off.

The doctor looked back toward the burning building with his frown
deepening. “Don’t apologize. I’d say you’ve just saved me from getting

“Listen, I’m a doctor is there anything I can do to help out.”

Dr. Harrison studied her for a moment, almost as if sizing her up. “Yes,
you can start by showing me where this young man that you’re talking
about is at.”


She stepped into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her
face was covered in soot and even her hair had ash in it. She pulled off
her stained clothes and kicked them into the corner and turned on the
water in the hotel shower.

She stepped in and let the hot water wash away some of the tension she
was holding in her shoulders. For a while today she had felt like her
old self. She had immersed herself in the work and it had felt good.

She’d been a part of a team. She was making a difference in the lives of
those around her. Then without warning it had happened. The man had been
messed up pretty bad but his face was left unmarked.

It had been uncanny! If it hadn’t been for difference in body type she
would have sworn she was looking at Mulder. The world had started to
blacken and she’d almost toppled over.

Dr. Harrison had her toted off saying she’d worked herself into
exhaustion. And while the work had been hard it had been nowhere near
that draining. She knew it and so did Dr. Harrison. She’d tried to
protest but the worried glint in his eyes had silenced her.

The pain became too great and she sat down in the shower. Tears mixing
with soap and trailing down her face. She cried until finally the ache
became more of a dull throb than a stabbing wound. Then she passed out.


When she woke up it was in a bed with the soft beep that she’d heard
once too often. At first she thought that she was waiting to hear news
on Mulder’s condition but then she remembered the reality of it and she
sank back down into unconsciousness.


Day 4

This time the first thing she was aware of was a burning itch in the
back of her hand. She opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling above

“You’re awake. It’s about time but then I guess you needed to catch up
on your sleep.” Dr. Harrison walked to the side of her bed.

“Mmph, what time is it?”

“Oh I’d say it’s about six in the morning.”

That brought her eyes back into focus. She sat up and took in the IV
stuck in the back of her hand and the heart monitor bleeping softly by
the side of the bed. “What am I doing here?”

Dr. Harrison sat down on the chair by her bed. “I was on my way home
when I saw your car at the motel. I was worried about you so I decided
to stop. You’re lucky I did. When was the last time you ate, or slept
for that matter?”

Scully pushed the blankets back and swung her legs over the side of the
bed. Except for some stiffness she felt fine.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Scully looked up into the angry face of the doctor. “I’m going on my
way. Thank you for your help. Now if you don’t mind I need to get

Dr. Harrison pushed her back onto the bed. “You are doing no such thing!
You probably need some time in a psych ward. What kind of person let’s
themselves get to this point of exhaustion and starvation? Besides your
boss is on his way down here. He said to keep you here until he could
make it.”

Scully glared up at the man towering over her. “Back off buddy.”

Dr. Harrison shook his head in amazement. “Why won’t you just settle
down? From what I can tell you’re an intelligent young woman. Why don’t
you just wait until your boss gets here?”

Scully stood up and stepped around the doctor to the closet to get her
clothes. She didn’t care that her ass was hanging out the back of her
gown. She just felt an urgency, a pull to be somewhere else. She just
didn’t know where.

Inside the closet she found her duffel and all of her belongings.
Grabbing some fresh clothes she stepped into the bathroom to change
while the doctor stepped out into the hall to try to marshal forces to
keep her there.

Once changed she grabbed her stuff and walked into the hall and to the
elevator. A shout sounded down the hall and Scully turned to see a guard
running her way. Not wanting him to catch up with her she went through
the door and down the stairs. She could hear the sound of pursuit above
her and increased her pace.

She slipped and banged her arm on the handrail. Crying out she clutched
her numb hand to her midsection and continued down the stairs and out
into the lobby. She walked out the doors and hailed a taxi.


“What do you mean she got away!?” Skinner paced the hall. “Damn it! How
long ago did she leave?”

Dr. Harrison frowned up at the taller man. “She was determined to be out
of here. I don’t think a brick wall could’ve stopped her.” He stopped
and looked at his watch. “It’s been about five hours since she took

Skinner sighed and cursed the small redhead. Why couldn’t she just do
what she was told for once! “What about her physical condition? Is she

“She was exhausted and her blood sugar too low but we righted that
before she woke up. I don’t know what she’s running from but I hope she
gets over it.” Dr. Harrison turned back to the nurses station in effect
dismissing the other man.

Skinner sighed and made his way out of the hospital. He wanted to talk
to Maggie Scully before deciding what to do.


The prognosis wasn’t good and the longer he remained unconscious the
worse it looked. Maggie gathered his hand in hers, careful of the IV’s.
“Just hold on, Fox. Dana will be here soon.”

The danger proposed by the swelling in his brain had been eliminated by
the surgery. But still it remained to be seen what kind of brain damage
might be present. A broken rib had punctured one of his lungs but
luckily there had been no damage done to the heart.

Of course his left hand had some fingers missing and his leg was broken.
He still wasn’t breathing on his own and there was still quite a bit of
blood in his urine.

Maggie jumped slightly when the phone beside the bed rang. “Hello?”

“Maggie, It’s Walter Skinner. I’m afraid Dana’s not here at the

Maggie moaned inwardly. “Why not, Walter?”

“She woke up and took off. Apparently when she heard that I was coming
she panicked and fled.”

Maggie sighed. “How was her condition when she left?”

“The doctor here said she was fine. Over tired and low blood sugar but
that otherwise she was okay.”

“I suppose we just have to give her time, Walter. I don’t think she’ll
come home until she’s ready. Fox will just have to settle for me until
we hear from her.”


She had taken the cab back to the hotel where she grabbed her car and
hit the highway. Instead of heading further south as she planned she’d
turned and started heading west.
If she drove fast enough she might be able to make it into Missouri
before she had to stop and rest.

She was in Georgia now and heading north back into Tennessee. From there
she would travel until she could cross the state line into Missouri. She
laid her head back against the head rest and allowed the steady drone of
the tires to numb her mind.

The feeling had returned to her hand in increments. All things
considered, she would rather have it numb. However, as far as she could
tell lit wasn’t broken. She was thankful for that. The last thing she
wanted to do was go to another hospital.

She didn’t understand the panicky feeling she got when the doctor had
told her that Skinner was on his way. It was true that she didn’t want
to see anyone else that she knew and she wasn’t ready to go back. Not
yet, maybe never.

She glanced at the phone lying in the passenger seat and felt a little
guilty about not having called her mother. Scully knew she would be
worried but couldn’t bring herself to call and tell her that she was
fine. Because she wasn’t fine. She didn’t think she’d ever be fine

Scully flipped on the radio and found a station fitting her mood. The
music was something that she’d normally have never listened to. But the
driving guitars and heavy drums seemed to echo the desperation she was
feeling in her soul.

She reached into her jacket pocket and grabbed a cigarette. She knew she
would have to find food soon or she would end back up in the hospital
and this time she might not wake up before the cavalry arrived.

A few miles down the road she found an exit with a fast food joint just
off the road, it’s sign visible from the highway. She drove underneath
the golden arches and glared up at the smiling clown face with a mike in
it’s mouth asking for her order.

She ordered a meal that would make anything Mulder had ever eaten look
healthy and ate as she drove back out to the highway. Pretty soon she
entered into Tennessee and headed northwest.


Day 5

Another day was dawning bright and early as Maggie Scully let herself
into the house. There had been no change in Mulder and she knew that if
she didn’t take a shower soon she could probably be labeled a health

Setting her keys down in the bowl on the table by the door she made her
way into the living room and checked her answering machine. There was
one message. Holding her breath she pushed the button.

“Mom, it’s Dana. I don’t want you to worry but I also can’t come back
right now. I hope you understand. I might not be in touch for a while so
don’t worry if you don’t hear from me. I love you, Mom.”

Maggie didn’t know whether to cry with relief or in frustration. She
checked the time date stamp and saw that the call had come in last
night. The caller ID box showed that the call came from Dana’s cell
phone so that wouldn’t be of help in locating her.

A part of her wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it. She had suspected
that the relationship between her daughter and her partner had no longer
been platonic. Dana’s reaction to his death just confirmed her
suspicions in her mind.

Her daughter was mourning the death of a lover who wasn’t dead. Maggie
leaned her head against the wall and allowed a few tears to escape. Dana
was in so much pain. Was her daughter really capable of taking her own
life? After hearing the despair in her voice she thought that maybe she


Dawn was peeping through the curtains. She had just made it into
Missouri as the sun set yesterday. She lay in the bed listening to the
shower run in the bathroom. She closed her eyes and drew the sheet up
over her breast.

In the bathroom the shower turned off and in a few moments the door
opened and her visitor stepped through fully clothed. He leaned over her
on the bed and pressed his mouth to hers. “That was nice, Babe. Let me
know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”

He let himself out of her room and Scully jumped out of the bed and ran
into the bathroom where she promptly wretched into the toilet. My God
what had she done?

It had been so late when she got in and her body had been so lonely.
She’d stopped in the local steak house to get a bite to eat. She had
just ordered dinner when Kevin had come over to her table. She didn’t
really want company but she was too tired to chase him off.

One thing led to another and the next thing she knew they’d been back in
her room. The thought made her stomach turn again and she put her face
back over the toilet. The events from the night before were becoming
clearer and clearer.

She had called her mother from the car before going into the restaurant.
Then. . . once again she heaved into the toilet. How could she have done
this to Mulder? An image of his face looking hurt flashed into her mind
and a sob tore from her throat.

She couldn’t do this anymore. She was tired and miserable. There was
nothing left here for her. If she went on then she wouldn’t feel
anything. Damn what the Catholic Church said. Surely God would not want
her to suffer this way.

Not thinking, only feeling Scully dug around in her bath bag and then
climbed into the tub. Turning on the water, ignoring the burning she
stopped up the tub and put the razor to her wrists. Without thinking of
the gun in the next room she pulled the razor down her wrist.


The call from Maggie Scully had alarmed him sufficiently enough that he
had an APB put out on Scully within the hour after receiving it. Now
with word from the Missouri police department. He dreaded making the
call back to Mrs. Scully.

He had been assured that his agent was still alive although barely. He
could only guess as to why she had decided to pull the plug now. She was
being stabilized there and then she was being airlifted back to DC. With
a final sigh he picked up the phone.


Maggie Scully could not sit still. Dana had been sedated and had not
been able to receive word about Fox yet. Maggie fingered the bandages on
her daughters wrist and tried to hold the anger in check.

It wasn’t her daughter that she was angry with but with herself. She
should’ve had them get Dana as soon as they found her. She shouldn’t
have waited.

She eyed the IV carrying blood and antibiotics into the back of Dana’s
hand. Surely she would begin to wake up soon. They assured her that the
sedation hadn’t been that strong. As if hearing her mother’s thoughts
Dana began to stir on the bed.

“Dana, honey, it’s mom. Wake up, sweetie.”

Scully blinked her eyes and tried to focus on the room around her. She
couldn’t remember where she was. Had she been drinking again? Someone
was talking to her but she had to concentrate to understand what was
being said.

“Dana, can you hear me?”

“Mom? What are you doing here?”

Maggie smiled and as gently as possible picked up her daughter’s hand.
“You gave us all quite a scare you know.”

Scully searched around in her mind trying to remember what was
happening. That was when she remembered and tried to curl into a ball.

Maggie patted her daughter’s head. “Dana, I want you to listen to me.
I’m not upset at you. I understand what you’ve been going through but
you need to listen. There’s something you’ve got to hear.” Maggie waited
until she thought Dana was paying attention. “Dana, Fox is alive!”

Scully had stopped breathing. It couldn’t be. It was some cruel trick
used to get her to keep living. She turned slowly and eyed her mother.

Maggie gripped her daughter’s hand a little tighter only to release it
at Dana’s pained gasp. “It’s the truth. As soon as you are up to it I’m
going to take you to his room.”

Scully lay in bed thinking about what her mother said. “I have to see.”
She started to sit up but dizziness pushed her back down.

Maggie pursed her lips. “Not so fast. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” She
paused a moment. “I wish you could’ve talked to me.”

Scully looked away. “Please Mom, not right now. I can’t handle this
right now.”

“Of course I’m sorry. Now if you want to try and sit up I’ll raise the
head of your bed a little bit.”


Scully’s heart was pounding furiously as her mom was wheeling her down
the corridor. She was still afraid that it was some cruel trick. That
they would roll her into a locked ward where she wouldn’t be able to
finish the job she had begun in Missouri.

There had already been talk of medication and counseling. Her mother
however, was not pushing her. It was either some elaborate scheme or
they were telling the truth.

They came to a room and stopped. She thought they were going to have to
defibrillate her. Could it really be true? Her mother opened the door
and wheeled her into the room.

Lying in the bed was the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen. He was
unconscious and hooked to a thousand machines but he was alive. He was
there and he was alive and Scully thought she’d weep.

“Oh my God! Oh Mulder. Please, Mom, roll me closer.”

Once she was at the side of the bed she took his hand and kissed it.
Home oh thank God she was home. She laid her head on his arm and cried.


Night had fallen from the sky turning the room dark. What little light
there was came from the nightlight above the bed. Some of the tubes had
been removed and Mulder was looking much more human.

He was breathing on his own and the tube from his chest had been
removed. The bandages on his head had been reduced and it was just a
matter of time.

Scully was chewing at the bit wanting to be with him but because of her
actions she ended up spending a week on the psych floor for evaluation.

Maggie was standing outside the doors of the unit with her daughter’s
clothes. The buzzer sounded and her daughter came walking out of the

“Come on. I can change in Mulder’s room.”

Down stairs in Mulder’s room Scully emerged from the bathroom still
brushing her hair. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the hazel
orbs open and directed her way.

Scully turned to see the sly smile on her mother’s face and the sheepish
one on Mulder’s. “How long have you been awake?”

“Honey, please don’t be upset. The doctors were afraid they wouldn’t be
able to keep you on the ward if you found out he was awake.”

Mulder reached out his hand to her. “I hear you had quite an adventure
without me.” He fingered the pink scars on her wrists. “Don’t do it

Scully looked down into the tears forming in his eyes. “As long as
you’re with me I won’t have to.”


End of  Axis Mundi 1 2/2.
Look for Axis Mundi 2
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