Sent: Sunday, July 30, 2000

Title: Spinning the World
Author: Susan Frankovich
E-mail: susanf@ticnet.com
Classification: VA
Keyword: Mulder angst
Spoilers: takes place after Ascension
Archive: Gossamer, Spooky's, Xemplary. Anywhere
else, just ask first please.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately this character doesn't
belong to me. He belongs to Scully and he always
will.

Summary: Mulder goes back up to Skyland Mountain
a few days after Scully is abducted.
******************************************************************

Spinning the World
by Susan Frankovich
~~~~~~~

When I was eight years old, my best friend Josh
told me that if I spun myself around several times,
then laid down on the ground and looked up at the
sky, it would feel like the earth was spinning
underneath me.

Of course, I immediately wanted to try it and see
if he was right.

I quickly spun around several times as fast as I
could, thinking that the faster I went, the faster
the earth would spin for me. The only things that
ended up spinning were my head and stomach, promptly
causing me to lose my lunch all over the grass.

Needless to say, I wasn't very anxious to try out
his theory a second time.

About a week later, when I was playing alone out
in the backyard, I started thinking again about
what Josh had told me and decided to give it
another try. After walking over to the middle
of the yard where there weren't any trees, I held
my arms out and started spinning.

Slower this time.

After at least ten times around, I quickly lowered
myself to the ground, laid down on my back, and
looked up into the sky. The clouds swirled and
the sun danced and it really did feel like the
earth was spinning.

It was incredible.

The thought that I actually had the power to make
the earth spin was amazing to me, and I couldn't
wait to try it again.

And I did do it again.

From then on, whenever I felt sad or confused and
needed to think about things, I'd go outside and
"spin the world."

Sometimes I'd watch the twisting clouds and imagine
them as various shapes and animals. Other times,
I'd simply close my eyes and let myself feel the
spinning sensation.

But my favorite time to "spin the world" was at
night. Lying on my back in the moonlight watching
the stars whirling above my head, I pretended that
I was flying out into space away from everyone and
everything.

It was such a simple act, yet it was one of the
few things in my life that made me feel like I
had some power and that I was in control.

I guess that's why I came here tonight.

To get some control.

When they took you away, they also took a part of
me, but I finally realized that it's time for me
to stop mourning my losses and find a way to get
that part of myself back.

And get *you* back.

And now as I lie here looking up at all the stars
flickering and spinning above me, I have hope that
maybe I can.


~end~


~All my poems and stories can be found at:
http://members.tripod.com/sfrankovich/index.html